When Dr. Gellman appraises how a child is affected by divorce, she evaluates the child’s academic performance, school attendance, symptoms of depression, anger, behavioral problems, and social skills as indicators.

No matter how much a parent may love their child, they consciously or unconsciously send
many messages to their child as to how they feel about themselves with regard to their divorce and how they feel about the other parent, including their own hurt, anger and resentments. Parents very often have difficulty assessing how their children are coping with divorce and whether they need professional support or not.

Dr. Gellman’s role is to help the family while being the primary advocate for the child. Each parent needs guidelines of what to do and not do to help their child integrate a new family constellation. It is essential for the adults to understand that their children are the victims of the conflict going on between them and how their behavior may potentially be alienating their child from the other parent and family system.

Dr. Gellman works with parents who are CONSIDERING SEPARATION AND/OR DIVORCE. Divorce is a statement the relationship is not working out. It does not have to be a statement about the worth of the people involved. She explores the important messages that are communicated to the children. Dr. Gellman works flexibly between and including the entire family to ultimately help the family disengage from the family as it was and helps them design a new family organization which could include step-parents, significant others and new siblings. Children need a period to mourn their idea of what was their ideal family.

Parents MUST understand their own motivation for possibly alienating their child from the other parent and the impact that it can have on the well-being of their child which will affect them for the rest of their life and future relationships.