by Victoria Neuman Talbot

Meryle Gellman is a Brentwood resident who is concerned about our kids’ eating habits. In some cases, she is concerned about kids who don’t eat. Gellman’s focus is on eating disorders (EDs) that have reached epidemic proportions, often manifesting in young girls between 9-12 years of age.

Gellman, Ph.D, Psy.D, is a psychoanalyst who works with patients from her Brentwood home office. In a comfortable second-story addition, Gellman has created a warm, relaxing environment. The cheerful outdoor staircase leads to a well-appointed workspace, filled with cozy sofas in an office that overlooks the Brentwood Country Club golf course.

Gellman is a petite woman but her raw passion for the subject of eating disorders transcends her physical size and renders her a giant. She has lived in Brentwood for 35 years, raising two sons who attended University High and Pacific Palisades High Schools. She has been happily married for 44 years, and she has always had an active role in her community. But for the past decade her ED patients are getting younger and younger and she is growing increasingly concerned.

Gellman is a crusader for children suffering from eating disorders. She is now offering seminars for parents to help them understand and come to terms with the complex nature of the problem. Often, families are in denial, believing their kids will grow out of it or that the problems will go away on their own.

For most families, an eating disorder is a gradual shift in behavior. It is often a gray area of distinction between the time of onset and a full-blown disorder that may include compulsive overeating, bulimia, anorexia and many combinations in between. The reality is alarming. Said Gellman,

“Too many first-through-third grade children in the area wish they were thinner. So many are already afraid to be fat. Elementary and middle school teachers report that body image issues are a problem in their schools.

“Because ‘tweens are still developing, severe cases can permanently affect them. This is a scary trend.”

In treatment, one area Gellman is focusing on is helping parents to understand what they are communicating to their children. Children, she says, are often affected by their parent’s behavior around body image.

For example, if a mother compulsively works out twice a day and becomes anxious over food groups in her own diet that she perceives as fattening or harmful, she can be unwittingly transmitting an unhealthy message to her daughter or son about the importance of achieving an idealized body image.

That, says Gellman, and the prevailing media images, make confusing messages for youngsters when they are most vulnerable, especially at the onset of puberty.

The media portrays celebrity offspring as fashion mavens at a young age. Suri Cruise, daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, has her own fashion blog at 5 years old, Gellman pointed out. Consequently, children are already absorbing messages about body images and comparing themselves with these young icons.

In the drive to achieve, to get into to good schools and to be successful, kids run from dance lessons and gym classes to tutoring and social engagements instead of sitting down to a family dinner. Kids and parents eat on the run, without the emotional engagement of a meal together that is so necessary and vital to their well being, said Gellman. “Parents,” she says, “need to reflect more.” Gellman is trying to help parents to be more mindful of these messages.

Some of the factors that contribute to EDs and body image disorders include, “genetic predisposition, vulnerable personality, dieting, family lifestyle, pre-puberty hormonal activity, major life changes, social pressure and excessive competition,” said Gellman.

“The anorexic child appears to be the perfect child, auto-regulating his or her own life at a very young age. They seem to need very little parenting. But that perfect child is also the perfect candidate for anorexia. Dieting is a huge red flag that can signal the beginning of a very slippery slope.”